


The Only Things That Mattered

by carmuh



Series: levi is trying. [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Falling In Love, Heavy Angst, Levi Ackerman in Love, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Sweet Petra Ral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 16:33:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30075084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmuh/pseuds/carmuh
Summary: Levi Ackerman, Humanity's Savior, could never be in love. Petra Ral is on the brink of death and Levi tries to do something for his comrade's benefit, making her last days count. What he doesn't realize is his own emotions punching him in the face.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Petra Ral, Levi Ackerman/Petra Ral
Series: levi is trying. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2212743
Kudos: 22





	The Only Things That Mattered

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for reading this fanfic and please enjoy. I'm so proud of this fic so it means a lot for you to stop and take a look at it. <3

Levi staggered through the trees with a solemn expression. His eyes scraped past the dead squad member that was hanging from a long branch, his body limp. 

He was worried. _Worried._

The word "worried" was never a word that ran past his brain much, the only time he was ever _worried_ was when he couldn't find his usual cleaning supplies. As a soldier who has killed more titans than he could count on both of his hands, you would think such a man would worry sometimes. Maybe about his comrades or about the commander, maybe his friends? Well, he had no friends. The "friends" he had were more like family but were dead from a titan covered by thick fog. He would never consider his comrades as "friends", they all had duty so there was no time for "friend" activities.

He couldn't understand why his nerves began to rise or his mind kept running. _However,_ on the outside, he was composed. Calm and straight-faced Levi, the normal. But why did his chest begin to ache with a feeling that he thought he long forgot about? Why was his stomach swirling like the clothes in a washing machine?

Another comrade found, also limp on the grass floor. His mouth open as dried blood dribbled down his chin, getting stuck in his stubble. 

Levi's eyes darkened. He felt his body temperature rise a hundred degrees. He felt his toes begin to curl against his black boots and his teeth clenching so tight that a titan couldn't even pry his mouth open. He still flew through the sky by his ODM gear, eyeing more of his squad. 

The next lay face-first on the grass, his mouth also opened with dried blood dribbling down his chin. They all looked the same, pale and still and _dead. Dead._

Death was inevitable in this world.

He propelled himself forward, using the gas from his ODM gear. 

Why was he dreading _this one?_

He lowered himself, hovering over the body that he didn't want to face. He looked down upon her as her eyes were plastered open and blood was dragged across her face, coming from her nose and mouth.

His gaze softened upon seeing her familiar face. Upon gazing at those honey eyes. Seeing that ginger hair that framed her face _just right_.

He didn't love her. He didn't _love_ anyone. Love was just another way to get hurt in this life. Love is just an attachment that could end at any time. Love you could gain in an instant and lose in the same moment. 

Humanity's savior was almost _afraid_ of love. Humanity's savior, the one that isn't supposed to be afraid of titans, of his peers, of _anything,_ is afraid of _love._

Of course, he would never admit to that himself. However, he knew attachments were less convenient, and staying to himself made life so much easier. Who wouldn't pass up that opportunity?

A million things shot through his mind. _Where's Eren? What happened to the female titan? Is everyone else alright? Who died? Who survived? Was Eren captured or dead or-_

His trance was shaken out of once he heard someone sputter blood out from their throat, weak breaths following. 

He snapped his neck to the sound, it being the girl he thought was long gone before him. "Captain?" The women said weakly, hanging on to dear life.

"Petra?" He lowered himself to the ground, unhooking his gear from the tree. "Petra?"

"I can't-" her breath heaved and her body shuttered. Her voice was softer than a baby's first breath.

"It's okay, you don't have to." He stared at her, not knowing what to do next. He examined her; crushed legs, weak breaths, faint heartbeats, heavily lidded eyes.

He then heard Mikasa zipping through the air, screaming at god knows what. "Petra. Petra, look at me." Her gaze lazily met his, still _clinging._ "Can you hold on a while longer? I need to stop Mikasa and assist her. I'll be back, I swear it. Just hang on." He pleaded through his eyes but his voice never wavered nor did his expression ever give it away.

She hummed in agreement, trying to deepen her breaths with everything she had left. Her mouth hung open to try and gulp the air like water, drinking every last drop.

Levi glided through the trees and didn't look back. Not _once_ did he break his form.

___

Levi and the rest of the scouts returned to the walls, casualties immense and many injured. Many people booed and chanted and hollered and- _god_ he was tired.

This mission beyond failed the scouts. They came back with nothing. The only thing riding back with them was survivor's guilt.

His stoic expression unwavering as a man walked up to him."Excuse me, Captain Levi? Good evening. I- uh yes. I'm Petra's father, sir. Might I bend your ear before she sees us? I received this letter from her somewhat recently. Apparently, you handpicked her yourself? She's very excited, I can assure you. In fact, it sounds like she's utterly devoted to you in every way. So devoted that, well, to be honest, her mother and I are a bit concerned, you see," the man nervously chuckling, "Now I- I know that fathers can have trouble letting go. But still, I can't help but feel she's far too young to be thinking about marriage. She has so much yet to experience before settling down." 

Levi was _starstruck._ His once unexpressed face was colored in guilt, fear, shock, and maybe even... sadness?

A random man yelling from the crowd, "Give us some answers, damn you! We have a right!"

A lady following suit, "How many lives were lost on this mission? Was it worth it? Was it really worth it?"

"You think the last thing going through their minds was 'for the good of the humanity?'"

These shouts pierced his once strong flesh, like a person repeatedly stabbing someone that was already dead.

"Sir." Levi cleared his throat as the man's expression covered in fear, waiting for Levi to say something, _anything_. "Petra's hanging on for dear life, but she's here. In very bad shape, but alive. We're transferring her to get treatment right away."

A beautiful smile covered the man's face, reminding him of Petra's same smile. "Oh god," Petra's father let out a breath that he was holding, "Thank you, oh thank you, Captain Levi. She's okay? My daughter is alive?"

"Yes sir, seems to be."

A sob ripped out of the man's throat. "Thank goodness, she's alright. I was so worried."

Levi awkwardly patted the man's back as he choked out more sobs.

\---

Petra wanted to get _married?_

Levi sat with his hands clasped in front of him, leaning forward in thought. _It'll be a miracle if she even comes out alive._

His brain was running an Olympic speed as he tried to piece his thoughts together.

_To whom?_

_"...So devoted that, well, to be honest, her mother and I are a bit concerned, you see. Now I- I know that fathers can have trouble letting go. But still, I can't help but feel she's far too young to be thinking about marriage. She has so much yet to experience before settling down."_

_To me?_

Guilt washed over his body, feeling like he was covered in a thick layer of dust. 

_Don't think so stupidly Levi._ He rubbed his hands over his face in frustration before standing up straight. 

He's never been in love before. He never even dreamed of being in love. He couldn't _afford_ love.

_Love was just another way to get hurt in this life. Love is just an attachment that could end at any time. Love you could gain in an instant and lose in the same moment._ _Humanity's savior was almost afraid of love. Humanity's savior, the one that isn't supposed to be afraid of titans, of his peers, of anything, is afraid of love._

\---

Petra was still clinging on to life with everything that she had. She was strong, so strong. Her body was probably ripped from hanging onto the thread called "life". It seemed so easy and effortless for her. 

Levi carefully walked into the warmly lit room, hoping he wasn't disturbing her. He had on his usual wear, his shirt a bouncing white. He looked cleaner and tidier than usual, if that was even possible. "Petra?" He questioned, softening his tone so it wouldn't hurt her fragile ears.

"Captain?" Petra's voice still as quiet as a mouse, cracking ever so slightly.

"I have a request." 

"Oh?" Her brows furrowing ever so slightly.

He slowly got down on one knee, being careful not to put too much pressure on his already hurt leg. "Petra, marry me," he took a deep breath when he heard her slightly gasp, "You won't have to be alone anymore."

Petra lay silent, thinking she may have finally fallen at heaven's gates.

"I love you, and that's all I know as of now and..." He trailed off, talking out of his ass so she could leave in peace. It wasn't like she was asking for something untouchable.

As he's talking, he abruptly stops. His jaw starts to drop and his eyes start to widen in horror. He realizes something that has always been there. He felt as if his life flashed before his eyes, awakening his greatest fear. Greater than titans, greater than his superiors, greater than death:

_love._

Levi Ackerman is in love with Petra Ral.

He's actually in love with her. It's always been her. 

He covers his mouth and moves closer to Petra, already seeing tears glide across her fair skin. "I'm in love with you, Petra. Please take me as your husband." It wasn't a pleading, more like a statement coming from Levi himself.

Levi grabbed Petra's frail hand, feeling no warmth to the touch. But he didn't need her warmth, he already created his own; a blazing fire within his heart that he accidentally set aflame while trying to help out a "comrade".

Tears trickle down Levi's face without notice, too afraid to acknowledge anything that he's feeling as of now.

He lay his forehead against her's, trying to see if this was a big misunderstanding. She loved him, right?

He slipped the ring against her barely-warm finger. "Levi."

His eyes widened slightly, taken aback by his former name. "Yes, Petra?"

"Promise to love me forever, alright?" He heard how hard it was for her to say those six words, her pausing in between each word to take in a ragged breath.

"It will forever be my duty." He vowed, rubbing her damp cheek gently.

A soft smile formed on each of their faces, trying to find something positive in this world full of chaos. Their silence filled the room but both of them could feel the millions of words going unsaid. Maybe if she said some of those words, Levi would leave everything to go with her. Seeming unlikely, but who knows?

They were _married_ , something Levi would never grow to regret. Maybe the _only thing_ he would never regret. Something he could cherish forever, even if she was somewhere he couldn't reach. Maybe he would meet her again one day and they could be filled with bliss. They could do all the things they never got the chance to do on this god-forsaken planet. 

Maybe in another life, they could have a happy ending. As of now, his eyes looking deeply into her honey-colored ones was the only thing that mattered to him. Her looking into his cloudy-blue eyes was the only thing that mattered to her. At this very moment, they were the only things that mattered to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry if there are any tears shed.
> 
> if you can, please read the sequel i made to this, The Storm Before The Calm!! it tells his life after this experience :)


End file.
